Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

While I thought I had gone through the vast majority of changes in my life, I'm still changing.

I'm more tolerant of things I was not formerly tolerant of and less tolerant of things I was previously tolerant of (go figure).
I seem to be more sympathetic.
I'm far more willing to show and share my emotions.
I'm still standoffish if I don't know you, but I warm up a bit quicker than I used to.
I'm more trusting.
I am softer (so sayeth a few friends).

I have looked, delved, and explored; trying to find the answer as to why. From what I can see, I place the blame for all the above on the shoulders of one person. I want to be a better person. Not a different person. I'm still me, just a better me.

That really is so not like me. I've always been fine with who I am. I've never felt the need to have someone in my life. If there was a special someone, great. If there wasn't a special someone, that was fine too. My company has always been sufficient. I enjoy me, my likes, dislikes and quirks.

He's the most gentle person I've ever known. He's very passionate about the things he loves, and would not hesitate to shoot someone breaking into his home, but the side I get to see, the one he hides from most others, is the most amazing person. Not that he is perfect, far from it. He can be a supreme ass, no doubt about that. He has a temper for sure. It may take a lot to light that fuse, but once lit, it's time to run for cover - where then I can giggle(to myself only and only if I'm not the one that just lit that fuse) at just how red his face is and look for the smoke that is soon to be pouring from his ears a la Saturday morning cartoons. But I've only lit that fuse twice thank goodness and both of those times were misunderstandings. He figured out I am not a mind reader though and misunderstandings won't be a problem any longer. I owe him more than I can ever repay.

Now back to changes. With the changes I have gone through, I've grown in a different direction than I ever anticipated. I hate to say it because it sounds so snobby, but, I've evolved. That is the best way to describe it. Evolving however means there are certain things (or people) that need to be reevaluated. That's the hard part. I am a much different person today than I was 5 years ago, hell, even 2 years ago. That is going to require a lot of thought.

Here it is Spring and I'm looking at a different kind of Spring cleaning.

The perfect present

I did see this really cool bottle of some liquor at Spec's the other day. hummm

The Man in the Glass

This was in Dear Abby today. I had never read it, but I like it.

The Man in the Glass(Author Unknown)

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what THAT man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think you're a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

I'm so lucky

or maybe that should be fortunate.

It's been several months since I told a friend about something that happened many years ago. We knew each other at the time, but nothing more than a nod in the other's direction.

A couple of weeks ago, I brought up something else from that time. He can't even think about that time period or the people he knew. He had tears in his eyes just thinking about it. If only he was there he said. It would have never happened. Some of the players he knew, was friends with. He hates that he knew people like that. The other players, even I don't know who, so he wants to not even think of the people we knew then, cause he knows that two of them were probably people he knew.

Cryptic I know, but that's all I'm prepared to say.