31 December 2006


People are really getting on my nerves of late(ok, admittedly it is more family than anything and not my dad's side). I bite my tounge more than I say anything, cause it seems like the only thing that is gonna come out of my mouth is an extremely snarky comment that is gonna piss everybody off.

So I spent money to get a degree in culinary arts. Does that make me the expert on how long to cook some mother fuckin frozen taquitos? It says on the side of the stupid fucking box how long to cook them for. Why the fuck do you need to CALL me and ask some stupid ass shit like that. Do I have said box of taquitos? Does my degree say AAS in frozen fuckin taquitos? No, it does not. Pick up the fuckin box and READ it your damn self.

Does my having said degree mean that every fuckin person in my life has lost all knowledge of how to do anything remotely related to the kitchen. You have been chopping onions for how long? Has it worked for you thus far? Then why ask me, is this right? You asked me 2 years ago to show you the best way to chop them. I showed you, you didn't like it then, why are you asking me AGAIN?

Is this bread stale? Can I use poultry seasoning with chicken if it isn't thanksgiving or Christmas? The expiration date on the Mayo says November 06, do you think it is still good? Does this smell good? What, you can't figure that shit out for yourself? Smell it. If it stinks to you, don't fuckin ask me to smell the shit. Use the brain God gave you and leave me the hell alone.


Robin said...

Ah, but you forgot to mention the "friends" who only contact you only when they want a recipe. I had one such friend who emailed me with a "scone emergency" (her words) a few hours before I was scheduled to get on a plane - which she knew.

Her "scone emergency"? She wanted to know if I had a good recipe for orange-cranberry ones. It's called epicurious.com, Idiot. Use it.

Even though my blog has never been a food-related blog, you wouldn't believe the number of email from strangers I've gotten that begin, "I lurk on your blog. Can you tell me how to make _____________?"

My husband gets the same thing, though. He's a professional computer geek, and I'm amazed at how people don't hesitate to try to get free tech support from him. I have an aunt and uncle who call him by the wrong name, despite knowing him for nearly nine years. Every fucking time they see him, it's "Hey Byron! How ya doin'? Why does my laptop make this sound?" He has my support should he ever decide to give them fault information that causes their computers to blow the hell up.

The audacity of some people.

IrieLovie said...

Dear God. Frozen taquitos? Isn't that why God created fast food places?